not quite the holiday

Oh the sacrifices! I guess I'm feeling a little down because motherhood is not so easy as everyone else makes it seem. For me it is sacrifice after sacrifice, which I don't complain about because I had a roaring twenties.  I had fun, went to parties, took nice vacations, lunched with friends, shopped till I dropped...

Ohhh & SLEPT. 

I slept like nobody's business. 

The quiet, peaceful sleep you get when you have your own place, 

you cut off the ringers, 

turn down the answering machine, 

shut the blinds, 

crank up the a/c and dive under the covers and stretch out 

ALONE. 

Sometimes I would get home at 5am still pretty dark out and go to sleep just to wake up at 5pm in the dark again. 

"damn missed a whole day. Oh well!" 

stretch, yawn, eat some junk food or order chinese, maybe shower, watch tv and doze back off again by 9pm. 

Those were the days!

I don't feel guilty about missin' the ole days, 

I love the NOWADAYS! 

To be honest, I used to be sooooo lonely. 

Sometimes my friends would all be busy doing something with their husbands, boyfriends or kids & if I just had to get out of the house I would take myself on a date. I would get all sexy, throw on some low riders and high heels, blow out my hair & hit a movie ALONE, grab a bite ALONE and then go to a 24 hour drug store & read all the conditioner bottles and look at lip gloss until I got sleepy.  

Then I would go home & feel sorry for myself for not having a husband & kids to do things with. (though that date with myself bit sounds pretty good right about now!)

It has always been all or nothing for me.  

All the freedom, no one at home to even know I'm gone.  

A loving family who loves & needs me, no time alone.

By time alone, I don't mean an hour either. I hate those super moms who have quadruplets & claim to be rejuvenated after a fifteen minute break and a cup of coffee on their back porch.

Bull S H + +!  

I need a day away!

My mother-in-law and FIL are here but it has not been quite the holiday I was looking for. My husband has had project after project for them since they arrived.  The front yard, the backyard the garage, unload boxes, re-stack the cabinets etc. I haven't been able to get a moment for myself at all.

Breaking news right up to the minute!

Wow.  My wonderful husband comes into the room and sees me alone blogging in the dark & asks me what's wrong.  I just need to relax for a few while its quiet (the baby is napping and Pumkie aka terrible two is being a good girl playing in her playroom and the in laws are out visiting relatives) 

I tell him nothing is wrong, I just need a few.

"Well come on get up! Aren't you going to put away the clothes or clean up? There's things to do besides sitting here in the dark." Then he's off back to working outside. Yeah he's just trying to make our home beautiful but working out there is easier than working in here!

He must have known I was blogging about him. See? Speak of the devil & he appears right on cue.   

 

Small Tokens

So my little pumpkie Shy (Terrible & Two) has a mini phobia with lint, cotton balls, basically anything that blows across the floor because she thinks it's alive. Well, my baby is playing on the floor, rolling around, sliding along the edges of the wall and under the bed... 

Me talking, "Shy get up, the floor is cold."  

Her usual response "NO!" 

Me again, "Get up, mommy's serious, you're going to go on time out." 

Her again, "NO TEMOUT!"

Me again, "Shy get up and be a good girl please, go play in your playroom."

"NO!"

So I go to reach for her and she rolls away and stands up facing me and since my housekeeping could use more 'keeping', poor baby girl has a big ball of.....hmmm looked like a mixture of lint, cat hair, a little bit of ??fuzz and some bits of string just to give it legs, sitting on her chest right below her chin!

So she doesn't know it's there, but I do. (mischievous grin)

Me talking, "You should really try to be a good girl."

"NO GUD DIRL!" she yells.

So I open my eyes as wide as I can and give an 'OH MY!' expression and stare at the fur ball sitting on her collarbone.

Her facial expression changed from stubborn defiance to a curious brow raising. So I open my eyes wide again, stare at her fuzzy friend and say "Ohhhh!"

She looked so bewildered and followed my gaze, bringing her chin to her shirt and saw her cottony friend smiling up at her and its linty particles rustling and moving under the breeze of her breath. She threw her head back, her arms went out & she stiffened up. In a panicky voice she kept saying "Ma ma! Ma ma!" as she walked slowly and stiffly(so as to not awaken it I guess) towards me.

I leaned back as though I didn't want to be near it either. She would slowly look down just to see if it......was...... still.... there...YUP! Then throw her head back up over and over again and each time there was - "Ma ma! Ma ma!"

Aaaaahhhhhh..... these small tokens of retribution for all of the "no's", the tantrums and the messes.  We parents must learn to accept these gifts as they are every so often bestowed on us by a good parent fairy.

OK! I brush it off and it drifts to the floor.  She backs away from it as though it were the creature from aliens and it was going to pounce and latch onto her face at any moment.  I pick it up and she curiously watches me throw it away.(from a distance) 

Me talking, "See it's all gone. Can Mommy get a kiss?"

Her eyes light up and she turns and runs away, 

"NO! NO TISS!"

Gotta get it together!

Nothing major happening over here, its been pretty uneventful. I took the girls to my parents' house just for the day yesterday and basically I am a major mess right now.  I thought I would be that mom who was so together with manicured nails, pretty hair, neatly dressed, lip gloss, high heels and a clean car. So sad to report that I am disheveled, fussy, clumsy, forgetful and in horrible need of some pampering. The baby is teething and the two year old.....well she's two! So it is no surprise that on my way to my parents house I reach a toll booth and reach in the console for my easy pass.  

It's not in there.

Fine. I pull over to the cash lane & dig in my purse. 

No cash in there.

I pull up to the toll clerk, 

"Do you take debit?" (same as cash!)

He gives me this blank look as if I just asked the stupidest question ever.

"No." Then he just stares at me.  

"Okaaay. Well I don't have my ez pass or any cash on me so.....should I pull over and wait for the toll police with my drivers license?" (I've been through this before obviously) 

Now he looks all pissy. 

"No, you have to give me your vehicle registration."  I already know that it is not in the car because my genius husband keeps it in his wallet, but I play at searching for it.

"They've never asked for the registration before,  you're supposed to get the drivers license." I say & start to reach in my bag for it.

 

"No! I need the vehicle registration." he repeats in a loud voice. (traffic is backing up behind me)

"Well it's not in here. Now what? Do you want my license?" I ask.

He looks lost and doesn't know what to do now, so he waves over one of the toll police officers and explains what's going on.

The toll officer takes out his pen, "Oh, ok no problem, just give me your drivers license, I'll issue you a notice and you have..? (I've already forgotten  how long!)  to send in your payment, that's all."

I chuckle & give the toll clerk my best 'I told you so, I was right & you are an idiot' look. 

I open my wallet for my license,

it's not in there.

I start to dig around in my bag........I start mumbling "it was in here yesterday....." 

now I'm feeling kinda warm........still digging....... 

(a quick glance at the toll booth clerk and he has an even better 'Who looks like an idiot now?' scoff.

You would think that the ones who keep me in a constant state of confusion would be in the backseat having a double meltdown just to show as evidence of my hectic days, but nooo they were sound asleep like little angels.